Curiosity, Judgment, Mia Khalifa, & Bella Freud

Speaking in an episode of Fashion Neurosis with Bella Freud, Mia Khalifa says:

I think, as I’ve grime older, desire doesn’t mean anything. I think curiosity means a lot more than desire. That’s what moves me, when someone is curious, that when someone […] desires me [in a sexual way].

Hearing this made me more aware of how often I connect (conflate?) the conceptions of desire and curiosity. I know that I’ve used these terms relatively interchangeably on a regular basis.

However, what Khalifa was saying evoked a certain feeling in me; it felt like an accurate representation of a significant distinction. When someone is genuinely interested in you, or your work, or what you think about something, that does feel different than someone simply finding you attractive.

Later, in the same episode, Bella Freud speaks about how judgmoshe is about some particular fashion choices of other people. She extrapolates this particular judgmental tendency into something more general when she says,

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be judgmental, but is boring if you get stuck in a position that you’d like to reverse or come out of in some way.

I think what Bella Freud is saying here relates to the concept of curiosity.

When we get overly judgmental, too emotionally invested (libidinal investment) in our preferences or judgments, we stop being curious, and this means we lose out on something so great.

On our side of things, we lose out on the experience of being curious and open to learn g something from someone else.

And the other person/people lose out on someone being interested in them.